Movie Review: Extraterrestrial (2014)

November 17, 2014 in Movie Reviews, Reviews

extraterrestrial new poster

No matter what happens, Gil Bellows can always claim that he was in one of the greatest movies of all time, The Shawshank Redemption. From now on, he can also claim to have been in one of the worst films of all time.

Okay, so maybe Extraterrestrial is not one of the worst movies of all time. But it is genuinely awful. Really, really bad. Think of the most typical teen slasher movie you can, but instead of maniacal killers or monsters, you get aliens. Not even creative or interesting aliens, but the archetypal thin grey aliens with the big black eyes.

The story is just as expected. A girl (Brittany Allen) who is having problems with her high school sweetheart (Freddie Stroma) go on a trip to a cabin in the woods with some friends. They witness a UFO crash and encounter an alien. Screaming, killing, blood and gore, and of course, stupid, irrational decisions, ensue. As expected, there is an old crackpot (Michael Ironside) living in the area who claims to know everything behind the alien conspiracies, and cops who are skeptical of our protagonist’s claims.

Bellows plays one of the cops, and he feels completely out of place because it seems like he is actually trying to deliver a decent performance. His character also happens to be the only one in the entire film who is not an obnoxious prick. Unfortunately, he is only a supporting character, and the rest of the cast is woefully inept.

I could actually live with these problems had the film actually been scary. Maybe I was not in the right mood, or maybe it’s because I watched The X-Files growing up, but I was not shocked, frightened or spooked at all. Not even once. And I can’t think of another horror film — even the worst ones — that has not made me flinch at least once.

To its credit, Extraterrestrial has a campy vibe and clearly does not take itself seriously, though there is still a giant chasm between that and calling the film satire or parody, or even fun or funny. The jokes are largely driven by obvious frat boy humour and there’s no sharp wit in sight.

The only thing the film has going for it is its final 10-15 minutes, which contained a couple of nice surprises and some solid special effects. As a result, it was difficult to tell whether the film was unintentionally bad or intentionally trying to be so bad it’s good. Either way, Extraterrestrial is just not worth your time.

1 star out of 5