Movie Review: The Other Woman (2014)

August 5, 2014 in Movie Reviews, Reviews by pacejmiller

the-other-woman-poster-kate-upton

There are bad movies. There are horrible movies. And then there’s The Other Woman, the latest romcom “effort” from director Nick Cassavetes starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton and Game of Thrones sisterf*&%er Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.

The story is more or less an adult version of the atrocious 2006 flick John Tucker Must Die. In the most predictable of predictable plots, a wronged wife (Mann), a wronged mistress (Diaz) and the new mistress (Upton) must work together to give their philandering man (Coster-Waldau) his comeuppance. And of course, in the process, they all become BFFs. Girl power!

I won’t say that there are zero laughs in the entire movie — I giggled maybe once or twice at some of the cheap slapstick jokes — but the vast majority of the gags are obvious and contrived. And those are the better jokes because at least they are not offensive, which could very well be the opinion of many movie-goers. The three women in this film don’t start off that way, but by the end of it all I just found them so moronic, annoying and unlikable, and I actually don’t mind any of them in real life. It’s strange that a film that’s supposed to be empowering for women is being accused of being misogynistic.

I’m sorry, but Cameron Diaz looked nasty in this film. I’ve never found her attractive anyway, so let’s just say her appearance in this was…bad. She does have some comedic chops, though the fact that she plays a high-powered lawyer saps out any semblance of realism this film might have had.

Leslie Mann, aka Mrs Judd Apatow, is the strongest of the trio. And even though she’s supposed to be at the bottom of the pecking order in terms of attractiveness the three women, I actually thought she was by far the most attractive. Unfortunately, she just rambled on too much and went crossed the line from endearing to insufferable.

As for Kate Upton, I’m not going to be too harsh on her because she’s not an actress and the only reason she was cast was so men forced to watch the movie with their partners could ogle at her bouncing jugs on the beach. In any case, the deer-in-the-headlights look she embraces for all her time on screen was actually perfect for her bimbo character.

The King Slayer, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, does his best as the cheating douche, though he was arguably not “hatable” enough for the final comeuppance scenes to feel as rewarding as they should be. And I actually thought Don Johnson, who plays Diaz’s dad, comes across as the bigger creep.

I don’t know what it could be apart from money that enticed Cassavetes to take on this movie. The dude is a solid director, having previously punched out hits such as The Notebook and Alpha Dog, and I shudder at the thought of a lesser director taking on this hopeless project.

The only thing The Other Woman really has going for it is super-low expectations. No one expected it to be any good, so I guess it is possible that some might come out of it pleasantly surprised. I was not one of those people, though I think I could be overstating its awfulness. It is what it is: a predictable, run-of-the-mill girl power romcom with a strong cast but is not particularly funny, adds nothing new to the genre, and is best forgotten, ASAP.

1.5 stars out of 5