It’s just not happening right now
So I’m taking some time off from my busy schedule to do something I do best: whine.
Things never seem to work out like I planned. Not big picture, but small, day-to-day things — and it drives me nuts. Something always inevitably pops up and destroys my plans. Maybe my son will suddenly get sick, putting an end to sleep and turning me into the walking dead for a few days. Perhaps something will happen at work, such as the most recent debacle where I am forced to become the company’s legal adviser for a while. I can’t even seem to plan something as simple as a blog post in advance these days.
Is this a matter of bad luck, naivete, stupidity or all of the above? It explains why I haven’t been able to write regular blog posts like I promised myself a couple of weeks ago. It probably also explains why I haven’t gotten close to getting back to my sleeping novels for more than a year. I suck.
To be fair, I don’t have a whole lot of spare time or a sizable margin of error. After dinner and putting my son to sleep I only have a couple of hours, one of which I would usually spend doing some form of exercise to prevent myself from turning into a fat turd. Weekends are usually also family time, and I’m usually too exhausted to do anything else anyway. So that leaves work, which is supposed to offer ample time for personal stuff (it really is) but things haven’t always turned out that way.
Like right now, I’m working on a feature article that’s due the end of the week. It’s for a pretty decent international publication and will be by far the most important article of my writing career. But man, it’s just not happening right now. I had planned to pump it out during work hours last week after transcribing the interviews, but that annoying legal issue (which had nothing to do with me) drained whatever free time and creativity I had out of my system. I spent most of today, my day off, working on it but I barely produced a few hundred words.
It was brutal. It was as though I had forgotten how to do anything. The sentences flowed so beautifully in my mind, but as soon as I sit in front of the computer with my hands on the keyboard…I get nothing. And what does end up getting typed is not pretty. What I need is a first draft mentality but what I have instead is a perfectionist’s attitude.
Hopefully I’m just having a rough day. I need to be on fire, and soon. It’s gotta be done.
PS: Perhaps this is what I need to do: