Note: Thoughts are chronological and jotted down as I watched the live broadcast.
Ricky Gervais is still good. On a night where everyone is patting themselves on their backs and telling each other how great they are, it’s good that the host is a self-deprecating chubby who tells it as he sees it and takes the celebs down a couple of notches
Man Jonah Hill has lost some weight. Must have followed Seth Rogen’s diet. Wonder if it helps or hurts his career to be thinner.
Jeez there are lots of apparently great TV shows and fantastic films I haven’t seen. Damn it.
No matter how many people sing its praises or how many awards it wins, I just can’t get myself interested in Downton Abbey. Sorry.
Yay! Go Kate Winslet (Mildred Pierce winner) once again! She has to be one of my, if not my favourite actress in Hollywood.
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire), always my favourite actor, but damn I love Bryan Cranston because Breaking Bad is so ridiculously good. Oh well, congrats to Kelsey Grammar for Oz. Did he get another wife?
Can’t believe Homeland won best TV drama. I heard it was just OK. Guess I better see for myself. Also gotta watch American Horror Story and Game of Thrones. How am I ever going to fit these in?
Wow, Madonna is still around. Winner for best original song (Masterpiece). Check out those toned arms. And she’s either looking very good for her age (93) or she has the world’s best make-up artist (the latter is slightly more likely).
Totally random and bizarre appearance from a Turkish actress who does nothing except say that the show is seen in a lot of countries. Will no doubt go down as the biggest “WTF?” moment of the night.
Go Seth Rogen, standing right next to Kate Beckinsale and admitting to trying to conceal a massive erection. Normally tacky but this is Rogen and he is standing next to Beckinsale.
Natalie Portman appearance during Michelle Williams‘ acceptance speech for My Week with Marilyn. Still looking great despite the rigours of child-bearing and childbirth.
George Clooney, after getting a talked-up intro by Gervais, comes out with a cane and an awfully orange complexion (sadly very common tonight).
Yes! The Adventures of Tin Tin wins best animated film. Well-deserved. One of the most entertaining films I’ve seen this year. Good to see Andy Serkis get some kudos for his performance.
Will Ewan McGregor always look this young? And Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a legend.
Woody Allen has gotta win best screenplay for Midnight in Paris. Come on…YES! So well deserved…and he’s not even there. Nice cover by Nicole Kidman.
William H Macy and wife Felicity Huffman — awesome duo and song. The heck d’ya mean?
Don’t mean to be mean but Jessica Lange has had some work done. And then some.
Speaking of which, Madeleine Stowe looks absolutely amazing. Did you know she’s 53 years old?
Tina Fey and Jane Lynch — best presenter pair of the night so far. Natural, sassy and funny.
Did Matt LeBlanc dye his hair? Good win as himself. Sounds real enthusiastic…
Porn star moustache from Bradley Cooper. I can’t stop looking at it.
Morgan Freeman tribute. Lots of good movies, some average ones, a few bad ones, and a zillion voice-overs. Ahh…Shawshank. Still the best.
What the heck is wrong with Angelina Jolie? She looks scary bony.
Martin Scorsese win best director for Hugo. I gotta watch this movie. Apparently it’s a critics fave but not embraced by audiences.
Modern Family wins again. I’ve only seen a few eps but I need to get a move on. My sister says it rivals Seinfeld but I’m yet to be convinced.
I don’t know much about fashion but Jessica Biel has a funny dress.
Seeerriously, Meryl Streep is probably the best actress in the world, but everyone can see through the fake surprise she feigned when she just won for The Iron Lady. How can she possibly be surprised? She bloody wins every single time!
Jane Fonda is 74. Holy crap. Work or no work, that’s an impressive looking lady.
The Artist has just become a must-see. To be honest I might not enjoy it. And why is there a dog doing tricks on the stage? I hope it takes a dump.
Go Natalie Portman. Best actor time. I go for Ryan Gosling. But George Clooney wins. Can things get any better for this man? Big props to Michael Fassbender’s penis.
Man, The Descendants just won best drama. I have to admit it does look pretty darn good. Add it to the list.
And that’s a rap. In short, this is what I learned from tonight’s Golden Globes:
- there are too many movies and TV shows I haven’t seen;
- it was a generally breezy night but still too much self-congratulatory crap and not enough humour;
- Gervais started off with a good intro but pretty much disappeared after…not a big fan of him personally but he does do a good job at these awards by keeping everyone on edge and less likely to vomit from all the Hollywood self-loving;
- biggest winner of the night appears to be The Artist or The Descendants;
- George Clooney’s life just keeps getting better…I swear, one of these days something bad has to happen to him…it has to; and
- Michael Fassbender has a massive schlong.
And now we wait for the Oscars.