Stosur’s guns overpower imploding Serena for US Open title

September 12, 2011 in Sport, Tennis by pacejmiller

Most people, even Australians, gave the inconsistent Samantha Stosur an outside chance at best of defeating the seemingly unstoppable Serena Williams in the 2011 US Open Women’s Final on the 10th anniversary of September 11.

But what they didn’t count on was Sammy’s massive guns to flex at all the right moments, delivering a shockingly easy 6-2, 6-3 victory and spoiling Serena’s latest ‘comeback tour’.

Seriously.  Take a look this woman’s arms.  P90X can’t get these results.  Even Rafa Nadal is jealous.

Are those real?

Unfortunately, the media has tried to overshadow Sammy’s historic win with scandal.  According to reports, Serena Williams had a meltdown against umpire Eva Asderaki, reminiscent of that time in 2009 when she threatened to shove her scrotum down the throat of a lineswoman who called a foot fault against her.

Down a set and facing break point in the first game of the second set, Serena belted a huge forehand and shouted, ‘Come on!’ as Sammy reached for the ball and failed to return it.  However, instead bringing the game back to deuce, Asderaki awarded the point (and hence the game) to Sammy.  The reason?  Asderaki believed Serena’s outburst was intended to hinder Sammy’s ability to complete the point, and had therefore infringed the ‘no hindrance’ rule.

Serena: 'Talk to the hand.'

Then, also according to reports, Serena went on another one of her famous tirades against Asderaki that lasted quite a while.

However, upon closer inspection of the video and transcript, I am certain that a mistake as been made here.  The truth is, Serena Williams was actually talking to herself, and not Asderaki, when she launched those insults.  And everything she said was true.

Don’t believe it?  Let’s take a look at exactly what Serena said.

‘I’m not giving her that game.’ — She was absolutely right.  Serena did not give her that game.  Asderaki did.

‘Aren’t you the one who screwed me over last time here? Do you have it out for me?  That’s totally not cool.’ — Serena could have only been talking to herself here because she was the one that screwed herself over last time, which, we can all agree, was totally not cool.  Besides, the person that called the foot fault on Serena last time was a lineswoman, and the umpire that time wasn’t Asderaki.

‘We’re in America last time I checked.’ — An utterly true fact.  Pure genius.

‘You’re out of control, you’re out of control.  You’re not only out of control, you’re a hater, and you’re just unattractive inside. Who would do such a thing? — Pretty much self explanatory.  Besides, who else would know what Serena looks like inside apart from herself (and her physician)?

Go Stosur!  Time to jump on the bandwagon.