What a Difference a Year Makes!

September 29, 2010 in On Writing, Study by pacejmiller

Source: Sparknotes.com

I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately, but for once, it’s kind of a good thing.

I’ve been waking at 5:30am in the morning and have been unable to fall back asleep because my mind is wandering all over the place.  I’ve been working on a bunch of articles and I’m always trying of think of ways to develop and structure them.  But I don’t think of it as a pain or a chore at all.  It’s all actually quite enjoyable.

Anyway, it got thinking — so much has changed over the last 12 months!

Almost exactly a year ago, I was just recommencing work again at my old law firm after a stint in the UK where I had some of the best times of my life.  It was one of those ‘oh my god, I can’t believe I’m going back there’ moments, where my brain was telling me I had to give it another shot, while my heart had already left the building and was already looking for stuff to write about.

Interestingly, I was also suffering from a lack of sleep back then — not because I was excited.  No, quite the contrary — I was constantly stressed and wondering how I could get through another day without going insane (ie become one of ‘them’).  My days were long and my nights were short, and sometimes, non-existent.  I hated waking up in the morning because that meant I had to go to work, though I’d wake up early because I had too much on my mind.  And I hated going to sleep at night, because it meant I’d have to go to work as soon as I woke up, but I needed it if I was going to be able to function properly the next day.

I’m making it sound worse than it was, but at the time, it really felt rather torturous going through those emotions every day.  There’s nothing wrong with what I was doing — indeed, many people love their jobs, and let’s face it — I was one of the lucky ones to even have a job, not to mention a relatively well-paid one (funny how we used to always complain about the pay, which was a legitimate gripe if you calculated it by the hour).

Now, I’m in the reverse situation.  I’m making no money, but I’m enjoying life and ‘work’ at the moment.  Even when I eventually finish this course and get a job, I’ll probably only be making half of what I used to get (at least initially).  I’d be lying if I said that didn’t sting me a little bit, but it’s a trade I’ll gladly make every time.