Thoughts on Tiger Woods’ “Indiscretions”

December 19, 2009 in Entertainment, Social/Political Commentary by pacejmiller

Tip No. 1 from Tiger to Barack: don 't cheat on your wife with more than 14 women

No. 1 tip from Tiger to Obama: don't cheat on your wife with more than 14 women!

I began this post when the first couple of Tiger’s ‘women’ crawled out of the woodwork, but for various reasons never got the time to throw in my 2 cents on the story everyone is giving an opinion on.  Since then, more than 10 extra women have stepped forward claiming to have had affairs with the greatest golfer in the world (and at least one of the top two of all-time).  Just what is the deal?

The story

If you have been living under a rock the past few weeks, here is a brief synopsis.

News breaks – Tiger Woods involved in car accident outside his Florida home.  He refuses to speak to police, arousing suspicion that he has something to hide.  NYC nightclub hostess (whatever that is) Rachel Uchitel is rumoured to have had affair with Woods, which she vehemently denies.  Woods sends cryptic public message, causing rumours to get worse.  More women step forward claiming to have bedded the first billionaire sportsman, some equipped with ‘evidence’.  Then more.  And then even more.  Cocktail waitresses, ugly hags and even porn stars claim to have had a go.  Woods takes time from golf indefinitely to save his marriage.  Woods’ wife Elin set to leave him and take a massive chunk out of his fortune.  Jessica Simpson is thrown into the mix because they were photographed on a golf course together (??).

The list

As I understand it, here is the current list of Tiger’s women:

1. Rachel Uchitel – NYC nightclub hostess
2. Jaimee Grubbs – cocktail waitress and reality TV contestant (Tool Academy – and she wasn’t even the tool!)
3. Kalika Moquin – Vegas promoter
4. Cori Rist – failed model
5. Jamie Jungers – lingerie model who used Tiger’s money for lipo
6. Mindy Lawton – trailer trash waitress
7. Holly Sampson – ‘former’ porn star
8. Joslyn James – ‘current’ porn star
9. Loredena Jolie – Playboy model and hooker
10. Julie Postle – former cocktail waitress
11. Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 11 is reported to be a “sexy” British TV presenter who was single at the time, but is now married.
12. Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 12. is reported in a UK paper to be a “sex-addicted cougar.”
13. Julie Postle. Named by the New York Post, through her ex-boyfriend.
14. Theresa Rogers – cougar (before Tiger’s marriage so I guess it was okay)

My guess is any trashy woman who has ever gotten close to Woods and wants a bit of money will claim that they got it on with the Tiger, so I’m not sure how reliable all these allegations are.  On the other hand, there are probably many more out there that really did get it on with him but have either been paid off or don’t want to tarnish their own reputation, so they’re staying quiet.  Probably balances out in the end.  Regardless, cheating once is bad enough, isn’t it?  So what if it is 14 or 18?


Tiger’s public image has always been a bit too good to be true.  It’s not really as though he’s tried to put himself out there as a chaste family man (like say Naomi Campbell claiming that she doesn’t use drugs), but he had always managed to stay out of the spotlight off the golf course and kept his private life private.  Too late.

Who knew he was so good at getting it in the hole off the golf course?  On the course of fidelity, Tiger has shot a +14 right now, and it seems he’s still stuck in the bunker.

But really, is it that much of a surprise that he had an affair?  Honestly?  Good looking, fit young man.  Best golfer of this generation and possibly of all time.  Billionaire.  Ego almost as big as Michael Jordan.  Touring for most of the year.  Excessively private.

The shock for me was the number of women, and most of all the calibre of the women.  Take a look this photo of wife Elin (with Tiger).

Now take a look at this photo of Mindy Lawton.

Seriously.  After cleaning up your vomit, can you tell me what the problem is here?

And this whole business about ‘quitting’ golf indefinitely to save a marriage that is certain to end in divorce?  Another bad PR stunt.  Elin’s going to be a filthy rich woman regardless – there’s no reason for her to stick around and live with this douche and with the humiliation for the rest of her life.  The thing is, had Woods not been caught out, would he have had the conscience to stop racking up the ladies on his tally?  I thought so.  If only he had spoken to police instead of avoiding them (3 times), maybe nothing would have happened and he could have kept going, and who knows how many more women he would have cheated with?

The best thing for him is to keep playing and winning golf (which I am sure he will) because the public tend to forgive and forget as long as the sportsman is good enough.  No one talks about Muhammad Ali’s multiple affairs.  Not Michael Jordan’s either.  Insanely good sportsmen tend to be given a second chance without asking for it.

PS: now all we have to do is wait for some scandal to rock Roger Federer, and Gillette will probably go into administration.